i moved to london: Thunder, lightning, rain rain rain

First of all, this is a pretty cool invention. I hope both world poverty and the iRevolution simultaneously continue to progress in great bounds and leaps!

Yesterday I went and saw Oliver! at Drury Lane Theatre Royale. Oh my days it was such an amazing performance. Compared to the version of Oliver! I saw at the dilapidated Wynnum community hall when I was about 6, I’d say this one was pretty good. I had vivid flashbacks to year eight “consider yourself” performance number, humming the ‘Oliver’ tune while working in a European sweatshop bakery for a man named Oliver, and the time I was a homeless orphan in London and a little cockney boy took me under his wing to a grimy underground brothel and taught me how to pick pockets. Good times. Followed by sushi, cider, and Shoreditch, Saturday was surely a tip-top day.

I’ve also got a new job. I have been personally selected among thousands of applicants to work at Citigroup Canary Wharf, the world’s largest financial group. I will be working on the 36^th floor, alongside some of the richest and most powerful bankers in the world. I will be crafting them exceptional semi-skimmed lattes and slices of mouth-watering carrot cake to feed their hungry stomachs with food and minds with banter, allowing them to continue to rule the corporate world.

This now being my 47893th job in London, I believe I have experience quite a well rounded cross section of jobs that London has to offer. From a traditional English pub, to a famous punk club, to an overpriced vintage stall, to the au courant Topshop, and now banking giants Citigroup (or “Starbucks Citigroup” if you want to be completely po-co), I’ve done it all.

Employment comes as a huge relief to me. Though it means I actually have to leave my bed each day and face the chill, it also means I can stop living out of cans. After the successful opening of discount supermarket LIDL on high street – where fireworks are sold next to laundry detergent – I have been enjoying a diet consisting largely of canned soup and instant noodles. However, I did branch out one day, y’know, thought outside the box, went out of my comfort zone, tried new things…but new things can be dangerous. This time I may have gone too far.

For 19p, it was an appealing choice. Low in sugar, high in carbs, filling, the goodness of tomatoy nutrition, as well as a quintessentially English choice.

The taste, to sober taste buds, was not the worst thing ever. It was hardly a Gordan Ramsay delicacy, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see it on the menu of a more standard-deficient restaurant (not mentioning any in particular…*ROYAL MAIL HOTEL*) As you could imagine, the liquid brew slid down my throat smoothly, happily filling my stomach with the MSG-coated goodness of snags and beans. However my stomach didn’t stay happy for too long. I was soon enough doubled over and clutching my stomach in snag-induced pain. But I’ve learnt that like basic hygiene and fitness levels, comfort is something that one must forgo to survive comfortably (or near-comfortably) in London.

Other than that, I’ve just been watching too much Dexter and Hollyoaks, finishing an assignment, contemplating my long term career goals, Harry Potter world premier, went to Liverpool, saw MEN at a burlesque bar, and keeping well hydrated in the evenings. Bet you haven’t noticed that I’ve also changed my typeface. It was a branding decision.