Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Love letters from Bernard: part 1 of 2 in a mini series

So, I've turned into the pathetic student that emails their middle aged business lecturer with ridiculous questions, and secretly admires his unique passion he possesses for quantitative research methods. This is a series of 8, part one.

Kate Fitzpatrick to b.mckenna
show details 10 May
Dear Bernard

I am prepared to name my first-born child after you if you change our much anticipated COMU2030 exam from a Saturday to any other day.

Yours in hope and research methods,

ps. I've attended all of the lectures and admire your charismatic approach to teaching.


Bernard McKenna to me
show details 10 May

Dear Kate

As deeply flattered as I am by your naming rights (there is currently a shortage of Bernards in Australia, but not in France, I might point out), I have to admit that even Associate Professors have no power in deciding exam dates. This should come as no surprise given that administrations always have more power than the practitioners (a point made evident when Joseph Stalin, the head of the Soviet bureaucracy after Lenin’s death in 1924 beat the head of the Red Army, Leon Trotsky to lead the USSR).

Golly, you must have something important on that Saturday!! Playing for Australia … a wedding … an elopement … an appearance on Master Chef ??

Your “humble[d]” lecturer (sadly unable to comply)



Kate Fitzpatrick to Bernard
show details 10 May
Though the ideas of an elopement or an appearance on Masterchef are truly enticing, I was hoping to work at the Ipswich Races, and provide the respectable punters of Brisbane with beer and wine. I would have happily shouted you a pint and had a big old chin wag about the epistemological relevance of hats and gloves at the races, however now I simply cannot.

Ah I suppose it's like you said. Many of us humble BCommunications students will actually end up as administrators or policy writers one day, who will ironically have more power than all you wonderful ripened and cerebal associate professors. Such is life.

I suppose I'll have to resort to my original naming idea, "Patrick Fitzpatrick"

Your adoring fan,

I lose a pint and a chat, you lose a day’s wages, and your as-yet unborn child awaits a lifetime of ridicule because of a name.

Life truly is tough.


Aaah Bernard, you cheeky bastard you. The clever old fool you are even managed to slip in a Trotsky reference. One day I wish to be a witty sandstone academic with a nonchalant attitude to fashions of the day and ideals of beauty, like yourself.

Forever yours,


No comments:

Post a Comment